Early Morning Confusion, part 1/3
by Rachel
Summary: Kitty finds a poem written by Marrow, and wonders if she can return the mutants feelings.


Early Morning Confusion

By Rachel

Disclaimer: Kitty, Marrow, and all other X-men, and their universe belongs to Marvel, I'm only borrowing them. No profits are being made from the posting of this story.

Warning: Language, and an f/f relationship.

This story is based on the poem "Early Morning Bloodshot Mindfuck" by Alestar reposted here with the permission of Alestar213@aol.com

Archives: Please ask permission if you wish to archive this story at your site, so I can send any more chapters to you.

Feedback: Please send any feedback to [rachel12@tampabay.rr.com][1] Also let me know if you like to see any more. 

About the Author: I've written nine storied based on the Xena universe, this is my first based in Marvel's. Which I was forced to write after reading's "Early Morning" a couple months ago, I simply could not forget it. Because I wondered just how a Kitty/Marrow relationship could happen, and if it's believable.

Part One

She paused at the top of the stairs wondering if she was there, wondering if Marrow was listening for her steps, wondering if the mutant was confused at her stopping at the top of the staircase.

It had been an accident in her finding the poem.The team was waiting to run their latest training session and like normal Marrow still had not shown. So Bobby asked her to phase up to the mutant's room in the basement and get Marrow going. Of course when she phased through the floor into the basement room,Marrow was already gone, just another demonstration from her that she's independent from the rest of the team Kitty guessed..

She still didn't know what made her pick up the torn scrap of paper, maybe because it was the only thing that had writing in the messy room. Maybe she was curious as to what Marrow would read, that was one trait she shared in her code name, and cats were curious.

"So here I am. Fuck this. Fuck it. Fuck walking on air.  
Fuck waiting around for your footsteps on stair.  
Pretty Pretty got lots waiting around for her there.  
Boys  
and glass slippers  
and other pretty things.  
Fuck. 

Boys bend and cum and fall asleep.  
Glass slippers shatter.  
Pretty things wither in winter in shadow in hardship.  
Not me.  
I wait for soft footsteps. I wait under the stair.  
I wait for the chance to put stars in your hair. 

You're a cat, right? That's your theme. That's your thing.  
And I'm a sewer rat that found light when it sprouted a wing  
and came up through the cracks with its heart in a sling.  
Literally.   
Your wind-riding pal   
ripped my heart out.  
Trend. 

Damn, isn't that romantic?   
The play on words there? Fuck.  
Why can't you be bloody like everything else?  
Like me.  
Then I could reach you down here, without wing  
instead of trying to prove that even sewer rats sing. 

Because they don't, not really. They borrow what people flush   
down their fucking commodes. Hope and slush.  
They sure as hell never stare into brown eyes with awed hush.  
Light's  
affecting my brain.  
Seratonin poisoning.  
Antidote 

is simple. I need the darkness.   
I want the darkness in you.  
Or, better yet, I want you to want the darkness  
in me.  
That's the only reason to go under the stair,  
right? Must be crazy to seek out the sewer rats' lair.  
So I'll ruffle your feathers, make you fall from on wing,  
down to the sewer, from the light that you cling.  
And maybe you won't be the same in the slush,  
But at least you'll be mine. The sewer rat's lush. 

Fuck.   
I wouldn't do that to you. 

So I let you pass over the stair, keep my hiding place,   
like Billy Goat Beautiful  
over a troll's bridge.   
A pink troll.   
Like those stupid fucking fluffy hair trolls. With the jewels in the their   
bellies.  
Damn. 

I really should stop all that sniffing of glue.  
I need to loose some of my reason in you."

Kitty knew in the first two lines it was a poor attempt at a poem, it broke all the rules she learned in English class. And Emily Dickinson certainly never used such language! She was confused at first, and then light headed, a hand was needed on the wall to help keep her upright, as she started to understand what Marrow was saying.

Coming out of her stupor, Kitty started down the stairs, listening for the faintest sound that Marrow was under the stairs. Yet only silence greeted her ears, all too soon she reached the bottom, so instead of turning for the kitchen to join her friends at breakfast, she turned and walked to the window next to the door leading down to the basement. Halting, she looked outside the frosted grass plates, to the snow covered grounds of the mansion. She always liked winter, walking at night in the falling snow away from the roads. It was so quiet, and beautiful, that her thoughts always drifted away, to a fine inner peace.

Why was she doing this she wondered, as her fingers caressed the frosted glass? She was not into women at all, sure she loved Storm, but that was more of a motherly feeling, even if at times she felt like kissing her mother to show her friendship. Then there was Rachel, god she missed her, and there were times that she felt as if part of herself disappeared along with her friend. And of course Illyana, the fumbling under the blankets with her former roommate, and experiments in kissing were just practicing for boys. 

Of course there's been boy's, Peter was her first love, she even offered herself to him when it looked like they were going to die in outer space. But he refused her, which turned out of the best, since only a few months later he dumped her for some dead alien healer. That hurt, not that Peter dumped her, she was already guessing that maybe it was not to be with him. But to be cast aside for a dead woman, she already was self-conscious, but that nearly destroyed her. Then while with Excalibur there was a parade of young men that she felt interested in, yet they all had eyes only for her Rachel. 

Kitty blinked suddenly at her thoughts, then smiled shaking her head, no she thought, nothing there; she just had a term of endearment for her lost friend. And of course Pete Wisdom shown up, he made her into a woman, and she did love him. But something was missing, Her stint S.H.I.E.L.D. showed that, so the relationship ended with pain on both sides.

Running her hand through her now short hair Kitty wondered what she was doing. No sound came from the basement, and if Marrow was watching her, what does that mean, why was she curious about it? Was this another way to show her friends that she changed? Many of them were already voicing their options about her new hairstyle, Bobby even saying that it made her look a bit butch. Which promptly got the Iceman a kick in the rear from an outraged Jean.

"Darkness within her", that's what Marrow wrote in her poem, would she want the darkness in Marrow? Then with an abrupt shake of her head, Kitty told herself, it was an open question, would she want the darkness in any person? She loved Logan like a father; he's ticked her off at times, yet she loved him. Pete, she loved him more it seemed when he was so abusive about his past, yet when he showed his tender side she drifted away from him.

"KITTY, BREAKFAST" a voice called from the kitchen, she instantly recognized as Bobby's.

Still shaking her head in confusion, Kitty turned away from the window and walked towards the kitchen. Not seeing the silent form exiting from the door underneath the staircase.

Marrow stared at the departing Shadowcat, wondering what the young woman had been thinking while gazing out the window. Turning her head, a gasp escaped the mutant's lips, as she stared at a drawing Kitty had scratched into the window frost. A small heart, with 'Marrow' written in the center.

Part Two

Brown eyes watched in utter fascination as the flakes fell slowly from the sky like a soft cool blanket. The air was muffled around her; the only sound her ears could pick up was the gentle breeze moving the branches of the tree's surrounding the estate of the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Kitty's face was peaceful; she couldn't remember the last time she went walking during a snowfall. The lights from the mansion gave off a soft glow to the night sky as she made her third tour around the house, processing so many memories that it made her realized that she already experienced more in her eighteen years than most people experienced in several lifetimes.

Yet she knew that her mind had refused to confront the main reason for her walk. Sarah, also known as Marrow, a member of the X-men, and a fugitive from the law, the former leader of Gene Nation, responsible for the deaths of hundreds. And yet, Kitty was wondering what it would be like to kiss her.

"Boy, Pryde," she told herself out loud, "You certainly know how to pick them." Taking a few more steps she stopped to look out over the dark waters of the lake that bordered the grounds of the mansion. "It's not like you never been with a woman before" She said as her features turned into a grimace. 

Yes her mind said, as it turned back to Paris, on her fifteenth birthday. Courtney Ross, friend…ex-lover of her ex-team mate, Captain Britain. Separated from the rest of the team, feeling lost and alone. Courtney turned the day into a dream, dancing, dinner, walking until dawn. Then that faithful drive that ended with them both sharing a picnic blanket, next thing Kitty knew Courtney was kissing her, then they made love.

After they finished, Courtney drove to a nearby inn, where they got some much needed sleep laying in each others arms, when they woke up, they made love again. This time she was the aggressor, and truly lost her virginity to Courtney's soft hands.

She never told anyone about what happen, the age of consent in Britain is sixteen, plus Courtney Ross was a well-respected businesswoman. If word had gotten out, she would have been ruined. So they kept their meetings a secret, not that there were many, just enough for Kitty to fall hopelessly in love. Then her dream turned into a nightmare, at a party it was revealed that Courtney Ross had been dead the whole time, and that Sat-Yr-9, had been taking her place. The woman quickly captured Excalibur but for Kitty, drugged she managed to phased into a crawlspace. There while Sat-Yr-9 troops searched for her, she fought not only the drugs flowing through her body. But the betrayal of her heart, she didn't know which hurt worse, only that the pain of the betrayal lasted longer.

Tilting her head back up to watch the falling snowflakes, Kitty understood then why she hesitated. The pain, it hurt when she broke up with Peter, then later her lover Wisdom, but it had been nothing compared to the pain of Sat-Yr-9's betrayal. She wondered, would she have been more attracted to women if not for Sat-Yr-9?

A barrage of snow falling from the tree she was standing next to interrupted her thoughts. Without looking she knew who had jumped onto the branches above. "Good evening Sarah." She called out in a crisp voice, while keeping her eyes on the lake.

Trying to recover the dignity she lost by giving herself away, Marrow scowled as she looked over at the bundled up mutant, "I think Pretty Kitty crazy, walking around in circles in the snow." 

Holding back her laugh, the brown haired mutant turned her gaze towards Sarah, slowly taking in her features, as she dropped down beside her. She was beautiful Kitty thought, if not for the bones protruding from her body, cause by her mutancy. "Who's more crazy," she asked in her soft voice. "Me walking around in the snow, or you following me for the last hour?"

Caught, Sarah didn't say a word, just stared at the ground. Her mind had been on Kitty ever since the young woman absent-mindedly scratched a heart with her name on a frost-covered window.

Not pushing the older girl, Kitty turned her head back to the lake, wondering what she should say.

"Crazy because Pretty Kitty thinks too much of me." Marrow suddenly said, her eyes turning into slits as she gazed at the abruptly shaken woman beside her.

"Oh!" was all Kitty could voice, while her mind was telling her that Marrow solved the problem of what to talk about. Turning her gaze fully upon the mutant, she realized that Sarah was not wearing any coat against the weather. "Aren't you cold?" she asked concerned about the woman.

Laughing, Marrow turned and paced behind Kitty, smiling as the mutant refused to turn around and watch her. "Up worlders need coats against the weather, but Morlocks used to the cold, used to trash, used to weak up worlders." Stopping behind the smaller browned hair mutant, Sarah leaned over whispering into her ear. "Pretty Kitty try and change subject, why you think so much of me?"

Katherine Pryde felt the sweat trickling down her forehead even though the night air was cold against her face. Well, Pryde her mind scolded her, what will you say, the truth, or a lie.You feel her right behind you, feel her breath against your skin, smell her scent. Come on Pryde, SAY SOMETHING! "I found it." She blurted out, "Your poem, I found it."

Marrow was frozen in place; this was the one thing she did not expect. In an instant her mind went from outrage that Kitty read her deepest thoughts, then chastisement for putting it all on paper. And finally realization that after she read it, Kitty desired her. 

If Shadowcat noticed any hesitation, it was lost due to her nervousness. Sarah slowly moved around Kitty until she faced her, green eyes staring into brown. Moving forward closer to the woman of her dreams, Marrow hid her grin as Kitty backed up. Pushing forward even more until with a start, Katherine realized that she backed herself into the tree. She thought about phasing through it, but that would be the coward's way out, and she was tried of being a coward.

"Pretty Kitty wants Morlock?" 

"No" came a almost silent reply, as Kitty looked up at a pair of surprised green eyes, "I don't want a Morlock, I…..I want you……I think"

Placing her hands on each side of Shadowcat's head, Marrow effectively blocked her from escaping from either side. She didn't want Kitty to know that she was mostly doing it to keep from falling at the girl's revelation. Leaning in closer, Sarah's tongue darted outwards licking snowflakes off the girl forehead as she spoke almost in a whisper. "Pretty Kitty, can always run away." Pausing she licked away more flakes from Kitty's cheek. "But, does Pretty Kitty want to run?"

Eyes closed, Kitty thought of all the reasons she should phase through the tree and run back to the mansion. In fact so many reasons came to her head that she thought her brain would explode. Then she thought of the one insane reason for her to stay. Leaning forward she pressed her lips against Sarah's in a tender yet demanding kiss. While her mind told her the one reason to stay. It felt right.

   [1]: mailto:rachel12@tampabay.rr.com



End file.
